Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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