Please, let me fuck your mom
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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