You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Randomize
