help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
