My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
