What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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