i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
