Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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