I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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