know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
