so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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