how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
how drunk are you?
Several
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
