I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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