this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
