3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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