D3 body, D1 cock
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
