Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
