What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
