WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
