CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
