Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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