She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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