I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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