dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
