Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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