i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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