try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
