Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
