She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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