Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
