Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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