Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
