She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
