Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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