She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
