I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
