were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
