So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
