my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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