I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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