i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
