i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
