Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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