that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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