He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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