But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We left the knife in your bed.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
