I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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