if i can run in heels then i can drive
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
