3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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