Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Sext me about skeletons
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
