It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
