i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
