Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
