My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
